my first video.

starring griffin grux from Ashlee Sanders on Vimeo.

i wanted to teach myself how to use iMovie and this is my first project.  i put together a funny little video from my favorite clips of griffin.  obviously i'm a true beginner but griff loves it and wants to watch it nonstop, of course.

happy thursday,

love us.

avey smiles.

babies are all so different.  I'm not sure why I thought avett would be anything like griffin.  we are finally starting to figure him out over here but its been tricky.  He's a bit demanding and sensitive.  arent we all?  avett has a very sweet little spirit and that smile, although infrequent, lights up his entire face.  he's very strong and loves to look around and focus on objects.  Griffin has been very good with him- bringing us pacifiers, hugs and kisses.  he calls him "A"and strokes baby's head all day long and it makes me tear up a little.  If I had to have 2 babies under 2 years; i'm glad its these two.  oh how i have loved having a newborn again (you know, when he's not screaming).  i had forgotten how sweet and innocent they are, how they rely on us for everything.  Chad and i really worried about loving our second child as much as the first.  i just couldn't imagine loving anyone as i love griffin.  i really didn't know how i was going to force myself to do it.  amazingly, just as everyone said it would happen, i loved this little guy the instant he was born.  the nurses put him on my chest and right then- i felt like i knew him.  he was ours and he was supposed to be with us, that i was sure of.  i love this little guy no less than his big brother.  we are so glad he's part of our family.      

we now own 2 cribs, which is just weird.  griffin still sleeps incredibly well in his- 12 hours a night to be exact, so i was not about to kick him out of it just so avey might have his own.  griffey hasn't even tried to climb out yet, although we have had a handful of diaper incidents during nap time.  its completely gross.  i'm still trying to figure out how we're going to put both boys in the same room at night.  yikes.  avett is sleeping yay- the first 5-6 hours in his crib and he ends up next to his daddy for the remaining hours.  during the day, it's pretty much chaos.  somebody always needs food or a diaper change or a nap.   i haven't been able to sync nap times yet.  some days, my only goal is just to get everybody dressed.  we may never leave the house, but at least we are dressed!  on the really good days, i get to shower and we all run an errand together.  i swear the boys are in cahoots together... crying fits at the the same time so mommy loses her mind.

chad is back in school and let me say, what a transition this has been.  he has been superman going to school all day and then coming home and helping all night.  i love watching him with the boys.  griffin walks around copying every move chad makes.  i love the love and laughter that radiates throughout our home.  it makes me feel safe.  it makes me feel that our work as parents is so important.  i can't help but worry that my time with them is so limited- they'll be teenagers before you know it and then i'll be the sobbing mother at graduations and weddings.  gosh, why can't they be little forever?!  although my days have been really difficult lately, i wouldn't trade them for the world.  I'm so thankful that i get to be home with my little ones everyday.  it means everything to me.

i wanna be like dad.

 everyday when dad comes home, it's the same routine.  griffin hears the roar of the motorcycle, knows his dada is home and runs to the front door and into chad's arms.  he points to the helmet until chad puts it on his tiny little head and then looks around at his audience.  we all laugh of course and clap and think its the most adorable thing.  and it really is.  every time we go outside and he sees the bike parked in the driveway, he begs for a "ride".  griff sits on the bike while we make roooommm roooomm noises.  boy does he think thats cool.  so what do i do when one day he really wants to ride?  when he really wants his own gear and bike?  when he and dad go off on real rides at high speeds with idiot drivers all over the road?  i can't stop it from happening and i'll never just be the super cool mom who is okay with sending her son off to become road kill.  can't we all just get safer hobbies please?

ps, baby Avett is doing great!  he's 11 days old today; sleeping and eating like a champ.  it's hard to explain how much i love this little guy- every bit as much as my first baby.  these days, i'm always exhausted and usually found wearing sweats and a T but I guess that's just part of mommy-hood right now.  its like winning the jackpot if i've figured out a way to shower at some point during the day.  i'm breastfeeding this time around and it sure is a learning process, ouch!  avett loves it though and latched on very well during our first few minutes together in the hospital- unlike his older brother.  labor with avett was very different from our experience with griff.  more on that later.  Finals are half way over but this week will be another doozie.  yay for having babies in the middle of a crisis.  we wouldn't have it any other way, apparently.

avett, 2 days old.